My Journey Accepting ADHD
During COVID, we noticed some academic struggles with our youngest daughter, and long story short, she was diagnosed with Dyslexia and ADHD.
As we tried to learn as much as we could about ADHD, we ended up taking a class for parents on how to parent a child with ADHD through Nationwide Children's Hospital. A prerequisite for that class was to watch a talk by Dr. Russell Barkley, The 30 Essential Ideas Every Parent Needs to Know about ADHD. It is on the long side (almost three hours) but has really good information.
As we learned more about ADHD and that it is usually inherited, it took me a while to pick up the hints from my wife that I should be tested.
I was looking to see what books Dr. Barkley had written and came across his book for adults, Taking Charge of Adult ADHD. In chapter 5, it references 91 Symptoms of ADHD in Adults that are listed in the appendix. I skipped to the appendix, and as I read the symptoms, I kept thinking, “That’s not normal?” I had the majority of symptoms and realized that I had learned to compensate by putting systems in place for the ones I didn't have.
After reading the list, I knew I needed to be evaluated for ADHD. I made a few calls and found a doctor who could get me in immediately, but he was cash only and didn't take insurance. Not wanting to wait (classic ADHD), I saw him right away and was diagnosed with ADHD in June 2023, before I even finished the book.
The book does a great job of explaining why you should be evaluated for ADHD if you show some of the symptoms, how to change your mindset and own your ADHD, how the different medications work for ADHD, and how to set yourself up for success and manage your ADHD in all areas of your life.
It was hard to accept that I have a disability. I still sometimes wonder what people will think (they usually already have an idea). The reality is that I had learned to cope with it over 45 years without knowing I had ADHD. As I slowly started telling people, it became easier to accept. I discovered several friends and co-workers who had ADHD, and it was good to share each other's stories. As I shared my story, I saw how it helped others, making it even easier to share. I've shared the list of symptoms with several people which has prompted them to learn more about ADHD.
Thanks to Dr. Barkley’s book, I was open to medication and have gotten into a good routine of taking an extended-release Adderall in the morning and a booster dose in the afternoon. At first, I didn't know if it was working, but I missed a day and realized how helpful the medication was in keeping me focused.
I also reached out to our Employee Assistance Program through Matrix. I was able to meet with someone knowledgeable about ADHD, who helped me work through not only executive functioning skills but, more importantly, some of the mental stigma I had around ADHD.
I also did some research on famous people with ADHD. It helped me to see how successful role models like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Walt Disney overcame ADHD. Research shows that people with ADHD are more likely to be Entrepreneurs. It's the creativity, ability to take risks, and hyper-focus that make people with ADHD good freelancers and entrepreneurs.
The most influential resource that helped me tell others about ADHD was Penn and Kim Holderness’s book ADHD Is Awesome. I've been a big fan of The Holderness Family since I first saw their Christmas Jammies video in 2013. They inspired us to make our Quarantine Life video (Tell me you and your family have ADHD without telling me you have ADHD). The book does a great job of sharing the good parts of ADHD and finding a way to laugh about the bad parts. My daughter is also a Holderness family fan and listened to the book with me. She and I also bought their ADHD is Awesome t-shirt to support each other in accepting and seeing the positive aspects of ADHD.
I've wanted to write this for a while and have had grand plans to post an article or tip a day in October for ADHD Awareness Month. In true ADHD fashion, I'm posting two-thirds of the way into October. There is so much more I hope to share that can help others.
Thanks to all of you who have supported me and encouraged me to share my story. Over time, I plan to share more stories and hacks I've learned and post them on my ADHD Recommendations page.
I'm always happy to share and learn, so if you have tips or questions, please reach out!
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